abit too much for me to handle
*Caution: This is going to be a very weird post. now, dun say I didn't warn u...lol..
Im feeling abit of everything now.
Mostly thankfulness surging in my heart,a dash of happiness, a pinch of siaoness( too much is not too good for ur mental health lol),
and i wish I didn't have to, but a tad of melancholic sadness too... e type dat makes u wan to listen to da cheesy songs n cry...
Im truly thankful because,
1) although I am not good at relating to ple and always feels dat Ive said tons of wrong things, Im blessed with friends who truly know me, love me, and accept me for who I am, and who I really am.
2) although I am not good at relating to ple and always feels dat Ive said tons of wrong things, Im blessed with friends who I truly know, love and accept for who they are, and who they really are.
3) Im blessed enough to have frens who reali read what I wrote and saw the difference btw Pt 1 and 2.
4) Im also blessed enough to have frens who felt pai sei because they did not see the difference btw Pt 1 and 2 until they saw Pt3. Its okie... at least, they care enough to be paisei dat they didn't read properly what I wrote.:)
5) up till now, my worst fears never came true; my highest hopes are not yet realised. There's meaningful anticipation for my future.
6) of lots of other things, good and bad. of those in the past, at present and even in the future. The bad teaches me to truly rejoice when there's good; the good gives me hope.
now to happiness.
Im happy because I feel liberated after talking to a dear fren just now. Because I feel I am being open at last. Its necessary, absolutely.
even though I felt dat it did not reali go the wae I wanted it to be at all. but Im glad at least i got most of it out.
I didn't say anything at all in e past cos I kept insisting to myself that I wanted to love her exactly for who she is. Till someone pointed out to me that I am being unconsciously selfish, because I am not letting her love me.
see, a self sacrificing spirit can also be a selfish one, if u r not careful.
now siaoness.
er...no need explain la...Im just being myself...lol...
lastly, melancholic sadness.
I dunno how to explain this.
I really really thank GOD for holding back something in my life cos HE has saved me from alot of pain...but at the same time,
sometimes, just sometimes...I wished HE had not.
now is just one of those "sometimes."
n I sound real ungrateful, don't I?
anyway, this is a reali weird post. n now, dun sae i didn't warn u. lol....
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