loving without expectations of reciprocality
sorry to ple who do read my blog. it seems like a looooong time since i last posted anything. even the last entry posted yesterday was a dated one dat i wrote at e veri start of dec....hahaha..
its not dat i din wan to blog. just dat ive so mani thoughts n so much stuff on my mind, i cant decide wat to blog, n what not... hahaha
n then i give up...hahaha...
actually i was feeling melancholic today...but then again wat's new? im melancholic everiday. hahaha...
i watched Phantom of the Opera today, n its superb. almost forgot im not reali watching a musical, n felt like clapping after everi scene...hahaha
n btw, pardon all the hahahas...ah siao in the house now...HAHAHA
ok, back to Phantom. i was truly touched. crying till my insides wriggled n cramped, n making sure my pour of tears dun run down my face at e same time. cos tears sensitise my face.
im a hopeless romantic (within harmless boundaries, not in real life).
n... im hopelessly vain too...wanna cry still must take special precaution...hahaha
im touched cos despite the Phantom's seemingly violence, his love for Christine is so pure. n so...childlike.
all the cruelty he administered. just in exchange for a simple hug n kiss.
just for a genuine show/gesture of acceptance of who he reali is.
just for Christine to acknowledge his love. not to accept, but to acknowledge will suffice.
Enough for him. to love her even more. by letting her go.
it seems reali off, but e show reminds me of lotsa things in my life.
n i realise one of the things is: i value appreciation...alot.
when ple do things or expressed concern for me, i'll get so heartfelt-edly touched, i think if the person asked me to swallow 20 fishballs, i would.
just an exaggerated expression. hahaha
similarly, i felt that i have at times 'imposed' this on my frens. n when i felt my 'really for dat person' efforts r not being appreciated much, i wouldl feel real...real...... down.
ive always resolved to love everyone around me more.
from yr 2005 onwards, my slightly amended resolution: to love everyone around me more....unconditionally.:)
oh, n to top this great movie off, i watched this with Carolyn aka Wanhui (my best fren, in an uncoventional wae). our 1st movie after like 3 years? Big Daddy was the last one.
the nite ended with her loving wat i got her for Christmas, n she giving me a bear hug as congrats for my baptism.
reali, it doesn't take much to make me happy...:)
hope it won't be too long before our next meeting. hahaha
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