and frens are frens forever
Im not supposed to blog now, cos i really need to do work but...here I am. lol
just a short entry, I promise. Just feel e need to blog, after reading my frens' blogs.
circumstances change, lifestyles change, values change, and so might character change due to the former factors.
from each phase in life, we all forge frenships with ple whom we share laughter, tears, happiness,sadness, childish ambitions, secret fears, joy and pain...simply put, our hearts.
As u transit to another phase in life, everyone is on their wae to a different experience in life. u grow a little more n u may feel u seemed to have 'outgrown' those frens u used to share ur life,ur heart, and ur best candy with.
there r other ple in ur life now who can better identify with u; u all r in e same academic institution, same workplace, yabba da yabba da...
love these new frens who im sure u will have great times together and form wonderful memories.
but treasure those frens of old as well. there's actually no such thing as 'outgrowing' one another. If everyone treasures the frenship, we will all grow together. we will still continue to share our hearts and life, even though we may turn out differently.
cos, no one ever truly goes away....if u dun let them...
No one ever truly goes away...
A fren called me today.
He used to be someone special in my heart. So special, I still have an extremely soft spot for him, I think.
Any random memory of him is tagged with associated images of strawberry Campinos, the New Paper (esp the Sports section), long fingers with perpetually black fingernails executing sms-ing moves that are mastered to the level of blurring speed, long-sleeved tops with e sleeves always pushed up to the elbows to conjure not-too-convincing illusions of biceps, which are of course non-existant; and crappy, lame-till-u-limp jokes and pokes.
btw, I just typed a 5-lined sentence. My English lecturers won't be too pleased. This is what one tutor will label with the phrase, 'tortured syntax'. lol.
well, back to e pt.
I haven't eaten another strawberry Campino since the last one he bought me. Really. n now, doing a quick mental count, that had been, like, gasp! more than 2 years ago.
That used to be my favourite candy, n trust me, its reali kinda sweet-till-u're-sick. think its redeeming grace is its extraordinary strawberry flavor - remember its "taste like real strawberries and cream!" commercial tagline?
Yet, ple who know me should be well-acquainted with e fact that I dun have a sweet tooth, at all. so, y will this be my fav poison when there r those less fatal to choose from?
Now thinking back, I think e candy didn't really matter.
its e person who handed me dat generous dose of diabetic confection almost weekly that conferred the candy my exceptional favor.
He's reali quite e gal's guy.
Mind you though, he's not without his share of vices. The above recollection is the result of me always putting on rose-tinted spectacles when it comes to him, willingly.
always remembered with fondness. with bittersweet nostalgia.
always a fren, as long as he chooses to stay.
But I'll never place him in that special place within my emotional bloodpump again.
Having said all that, why did my spirits still soar as such when he called??
Maybe cos I know the smartest person who ever lived?
As usual, just feel like typing something but not schoolwork. so here I am.
As usual, there r lots of thoughts in my head that refuse to be organised into neat cabinets within my brain.
which, should be the way. the brain stuffing is afterall, a messy pool of gruel that is hard to handle.
hmm, or is it gooey instead?
and does any of it turn crusty n dry and stick to the sides of our skull? Does anyone know?
anyway, gruel-ly or gooey, whatever. My brains are useless.
and, dun try to impress me with yours either. Human intellect. chey.
r u offended? or do u heartily agree?
dun worry, I respect human intelligence; Im just not impressed.
what an entry. utter load of rubbish u say.
of course. wat do u expect? these just came out from my gruel-ly or gooey(watever) MESS.
n dun u realise? Im only capable of mostly one line paragraphs.
lol.
okie, let me say something more sensible now.
It may sound bimbotic but I LOVE flowers. they are BEAUTIFUL.
I bought a blue rose for nini on Sat. Personally, i dun really like roses, esp blue ones.
But dat one was special. it was e most beautiful blue rose ive seen so far, and I dunno y, it just captured my heart there n then, when i held it in my hand.
I was so touched by its beauty, I felt tears coming to my eyes. really.
I easily cry when im touched by beauty of any sort. but no wailing lah.
When u read my blog, do u read the words (try e 3rd sentence) on the upper right corner of the webpage?
do you?
Thanks frens for reading my blog, n putting up with it. even when i write empty content sometimes. :)
Have a great day...love ya...
Its hard to say goodbye
Yes, its the end of Hall 15's very 1st production, "A Glass of Desires."
It was a truly wonderful experience, that I will never, never forget.
It seemed like there are so many memories to it, that I can't just seem to blog it down.
Or rather, I can't bear to.
the joyful memories. the painful (literally!) memories.
memories of nightly rehearsals. of the wonderful cast, and frenships forged. of anxiety, stress and thrill.
Do allow me to dwell a little in these, won't u? I know I seemed rather odd to frens these days. Withdrawn, and a little anti-social. But, its my 1st time in this, its really hard for me to say goodbye. So, will u put up with me for a little while? I'll be back soon, I promise. But not now.
There are many firsts to this. our hall's first production. First time I participated in hall activities. First time to be involved in a drama production, and try out acting. First time that I really push myself to pursue one of my interests, and see if it sustains.
And I believed this passion for drama is here to stay.
Although I felt stressed by the level of effort and commitment involved in pursuing an interest, and wasn't exactly totally dedicated in terms of, erhem, punctuality for rehearsals, it feels like Ive stirred something that Ive buried deep in my heart, and it just will not slip back into its dormant state.
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there are lots more in my heart that has surged forth, that Ive typed and deleted. it seems too personal to share, except with my closest frens.
Anyway, I just wan to thank the whole production team. It has been great to work with them all, and memories shared and frenships forged will always be deep in my heart.
And heartfelt thanks who made the time to come down for the performance. Really, reali many thanks. and for the flowers, cards or presents. very,very touched.
Again.
goodbye to the nightly rehearsals, to the back breaking warm-ups, the exhausting vocal training, the gay-himbo jokes, and the laughter and bonding that we all shared for the past 3 months.
With utmost reluctance. but goodbye....
my nights are now to be filled with mind blowing assignments now. im not of 'uni' calibre at all. why am i here?
Somehow, GOD showed me immense favor. With all my heart, i want to trust HE will pull me through. One day, I'll look back and smile.
