I was looking at some recent photos. those taken at Sentosa after exams, n those taken at Sarah's (my uni fren) bdae.
i have one, single, conclusion.
i need to LOSE WEIGHT!!!
boo hoo........
sadly, my current face is comparable to a goldfish. a fishball. a ball-oon.
boo hoo........
EXAMS R OVER!!!! yeah!!!
but honestly, im not dat exhilarated, exuberant, enthused, excited, etc etc as i tot i would be. guess my anticipation of personal emotions failed me again...
anagnorisis: im a veri fickle person in many aspects, yet paradoxically steadfast in other aspects.
nevertheless, im glad exams r over, though i do feel a sudden void in my life...
frens, come fill this void quick!!!with movies, ktv, clubbing, shopping, bbqs, badminton! haha!
btw ple, i did blog, jus dat i din post some of my previous entries up...haha...i decided against it. if i have any issue with a fren, i should talk it out face to face, n stand up for wat i believe n love, rather than using blogging as a medium. it will only seem like im trying to diss e person.
i thank GOD i din lash at ple ( u know u have e tendency to do dat, during exams? its like ur nerves r on e edge,onli a matter of whether u r aware of it or not), neither did i whimper like some wounded animal during exam period. now just hoping for e best.:)
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it was penny's wedding last wed.
cant believe she's reali married. can't believe im growing up, or rather, have grown up.
almost e whole poly group of frens attended. as we sat at e round table, n i looked at all my frens n kakis, i felt so contented........n TOUCHED. i almost cried, so did xuelin when i said," just like back at North Canteen hor?"
it was reminiscent of good ol' times, when we all sat in e North Canteen during breaks. idle chatting, good humor banter, n suaning. although we r now all dressed veri differently from our tshirt n jeans act then.
i reali believe we must cherish every moment dat we have. cos, some things just wont come back again.
speaking of my fickle-mindedness. i used to reali like this guy from poly, who looked exactly like alvin leong, just in younger,trendier dressing.
for poly kakis n frens who dunno, alvin leong is my eng lecturer who disguises himself successfully as a lab technician in his 'always navy blue' dressing.
but seeing him(e poly guy) a couple of times recently, i realised i finally stopped liking him. i was so glad, cos ive liked him for so long back then, i was so afraid i'll never stop liking him.
BUT, dat nite during penny's wedding, when i saw him n talked to him, some long forgotten feelings came back??
???
it'll pass, i think....cos im real fickle.
Sometimes, human emotions r e most fustratingly irritating.
especially to oneself, e perpetrator.
with every emotion-describing adjective dat begins with self ,winning e Champion trophy of irk every, single time.
such as self-deception, self-denial, self-righteousness, self-condemnation, self-pity.
e list goes on. cant bear, n anywae, inept, to name them all.
i want to have self empathy, not self sympathy.
things happened to keep dat in my mind.....n i shall.
no man is an island. how true dat is.
evrione wants to love n be loved. but wat r u willing to sacrifice in return for love? n i dun mean true, solid, pure love either.
its sad but its true. i realised there r many who will make themselves go thru all sorts of anguish, even if wat they recieved in return may be an elusive, fleeting, fickle imitation of love.
so easy to follow ur heart. n end up a broken person after dat.
too easy. n maybe all of us reali want to be a tragic hero in some way. think abt dat. its reali quite true.
n everione wants to have his/her own love story to tell. dat is wat distinguishes person A from person B, isn't it? n doesn't it serve as an outlet from one's possibly mundane n bland current lifestyle too?
i thought of my frens' blognames-" love is true", "true love does not exist", "there is no true love in this world", etc...
so sad.... frens, if u must live ur lives like a movie, make it a light -hearted comedy instead, ok? Surely, there is more to life than getting trampled upon by other people's selfish heart desires.
love ya...
Always in love with all things bright n beautiful, all creatures great n small. All things nice n wonderful, my Saviour made them all. Beauty touches my heart, my soul. A faith filled spirit brings life to my body. Thankful always, loving always...:)
im veri 100% virgo, so watever u read abt virgo, its me lor...veri proud to admit my poly nickname is ah siao( courtesy from poly kaki- linda, minghui or da?)...a compliment okie to be known as dat...likes to bio yandaos alot(esp with xuelin cos taste sama sama), likes to talk abstract not cos im chim, its cos im blur haha...likes to laugh like mad with shan,shop like mad with shirley,make minghui laugh like mad, n tease sijie like mad..madly in love with GOD, n yah loves to go ktv like mad with other ktv mad kakis...haha;p also madly blessed by eileen n jonaphine, another 2 siaos...find that u dun know what im actually talking abt cos u duno who e abovementioned ple r? well, thats me....strictly private n dun believe in having hundreds of hi n bye frens. come on, life is time not enough..;p
